Monday, 31 March 2014
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Then there was an appeal, and 16 years later, the High Court awards him £8,000 instead.
But who appealed? PC World? No. The loan provider? No.
Because £116,000 wasn't enough.
Just goes to show, when you get something you shouldn't have, keep your big mouth shut.
And don't be greedy.
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
Thursday, 16 January 2014
Monday, 6 January 2014
Thursday, 12 December 2013
An American has-been tried to convince everyone that he was really famous.
Some people got covered in bugs.
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
Thursday, 7 November 2013
Tuesday, 10 September 2013
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Monday, 19 August 2013
Sunday, 18 August 2013
Thursday, 8 August 2013
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
The problem is, the chain of clinics are the prize in a game show and, as such, her brand has lost all it's credibility from the start.
Also, Lord Wrinklyface himself admits he doesn't understand low volume, high margin, regulated, clinical businesses, so within a couple of years the chain will be rebranded as Al's Bargain Facelifts.
I don't think that Al himself will be the poster boy, though.
- Upon entry to the house, assess the other housemates as threats
- Use looks and sexual advances to gain immediate control of all men in the house
- Identify the inaccessible men i.e. Dan (gay) and Daley (girlfriend)
- Identify the accessible men (Dexter, Calum, Sam) and avoid at all costs
- After all, she wants to win, not a relationship!!
- Drape herself all over Dan in order to wind up Daley
- Make unwelcome sexual advances towards Daley, thereby exploiting his high response threshold by virtue of him having a girlfriend, knowing that she can push Daley a long way before he returns her advances, even though they're not sincere
- Push Daley too far
- Jump at the chance to push Daley out the door while BB is on the warpath
- Concoct a story that positions Hazel as the innocent victim who doesn't know anything
- Test her half truth, half arsed story with Dan to see if, as a detective, he buys it
- He bought it!!!
- Feed the story to the other housemates to recover her position
Saturday, 13 July 2013
Friday, 5 July 2013
Thursday, 13 June 2013
It was interesting. The service was outstanding. The scallop (just one) was OK, and the meatballs were excellent. The cheeseburger was average, with a trendy shiny bun, a not-very-tasty burger and a lettuce/mayo mix on the bottom which, under the hot burger, turned into the kind of wilted sludge that you get in a Big Mac. The triple cooked chips were nice at first but became tiresome and stodgy, and actually were just like the deep fried roast potatoes you'd get in a Brewer's Fayre on a Sunday. The surf and turf was £35, with rather salty steak.
So all in all, we liked the bread and the meatballs. Everything else was average and overpriced.
For the above, plus a beer, £92. Including a 12.5% service charge which was added for our convenience.
Thanks Gordon, that certainly took a weight off our minds.
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
"Meanwhile, in the Gun-Free Paradise of London, Terrorists are Beheading Soldiers in the Street"
Well, it's a good point. I mean, that kind of thing would never happen in America would it? I mean, terrorists would never kill people in New York, would they?
So the solution is to give everyone guns. Which means the terrorists would have guns. Which means they would have shot the soldier instead of stabbing him.
Let's put these statistics into perspective, shall we?
Number of people killed with guns in America last year: 8,583
Number of soldiers hacked to death by terrorists in the UK ever: 1
Just in case you're struggling with the figures here, I've prepared a bar chart for you:
And also a nice pie chart:
Monday, 27 May 2013
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
- Showing viewers back home how he eats dried spinach in space
- Playing an electric guitar
- Sending pictures via Twitter. Yes, TWITTER!! That cool new technology that old people don't understand and young people don't use.
Friday, 3 May 2013
Saturday, 27 April 2013
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Saturday, 16 March 2013
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Monday, 7 January 2013
Paula was upset at being up for nomination, saying "it's not a game"
There are players, rules and a winner. And it's a game show.
She's upset because 4 of her fellow luvvies voted for her.
"This was a chance for me to get my life back on track, to launch my products."
Ah... So that's why you're in there. Well we don't think that's quite the point of the show, love.
"You've broken me."
No, Paula. Your whinging, lying, name dropping and novelty bra are what broke you.
|Celery||Reason for being in the house|
|Claire||Was a (insert previous career here), now seeking a TV career|
|Frankie||Was a (insert previous career here), now seeking a TV career|
|Gillian||Hasn't had any acting work in a while, hoping the talent scouts are watching|
|Lacey||To take off as many clothes as possible to promote a modelling career|
|Paula||Was a (insert previous career here), now seeking a TV career|
|Razor||Was a (insert previous career here), now seeking a TV career|
|Ryan||Fed up of dodging spiders in the toilet?|
|Rylan||Had a taste of reality TV, wants more|
|Sam||Hasn't had any acting work in a while, hoping the talent scouts are watching|
|Speidi||Had a taste of reality TV, wants more|
|Tricia||Was a (insert previous career here), now seeking a TV career|
Sunday, 30 December 2012
The head of the FSA at the time the recent recession started is to be knighted for 'services to the financial industry'.
Let's hope the Queen's hand slips with that heavy sword so that she can do her bit for 'services to the penniless consumer'.
Former City regulator knighted http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20858164
Sunday, 23 December 2012
However, this is just silly.
Off duty soldiers and police are standing guard over schools in case another madman goes on a murderous rampage.
This is essentially shutting the gate after the horse has bolted, killed the farmer and his family, gone on a six-state car chase and then shot itself in the head, all broadcast live for the American public to enjoy over their TV dinners.
Now, we're sure the Americans will have thought of this already, but just in case the idea slipped through the net in all of that paperwork that the American government has to wade through, what if they were to just stop letting stupid dangerous people have guns?
I know, I know. They must have thought of it already. After all, the Americans do have the right to bear arms to defend themselves. It says so in the constitution. A document that was written in the times of the 'Wild West', when the West was, well, wild. And dangerous.
However, saying that people should be allowed guns now because it says so in the constitution is like saying that Americans should not be allowed on Facebook because it doesn't say anything about it in the constitution. Of course, Americans should not be allowed on Facebook, but that's a different matter.
Now, what they might argue is that every time a mad gunman goes on a rampage it proves that they should be allowed guns to defend themselves against such crazed lunatics. Because you can't really predict if someone is buying a gun to shoot raccoons, or if they're buying a gun to murder innocent children. So it's best to err on the side of caution and let anyone have one. Although of course it's giving them guns in the first place that makes them dangerous.
Let's face it, there are a lot of people in America, and so it stands to reason that there are a lot of stupid people in America. But stupid dangerous people? Well, they were just plain stupid until someone decided that it would be a good idea for them to have guns. Now they're stupid and dangerous.
Great. I'm just glad the Atlantic is so wide.
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Cinderella has been made a government regulator. She has been given sweeping powers.
My house is heroic. It was last decorated during the war.
As David Cameron would say, LOL.
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
The press are up in arms.
According to a bald man on the telly, 'we' fought long and hard for freedom of speech and we can't sacrifice that.
Isn't that like saying that our free will must not be controlled by the government?
Hmm.. That's a nice new flat panel telly in Currys. I don't want to pay for it though. We fought long and hard for free will in this Country! Someone died in a war to make this a free country! Property is theft! etc. etc.
Freedom of speech isn't the problem.
The problem is what certain journalists use that freedom to say.
And yes, they should be regulated.
Monday, 19 November 2012
John has gone into hiding, using various disguises including a tramp and a German tourist, continuing to blog about his daily adventures while on the run with his 20 year old girlfriend (he's 67) and spying on his own house into to keep tabs on the police, who is convinced are trying to frame him.
Well, it makes interesting reading. At the time of one police raid, when he apparently ran out naked holding a gun, he was living with a 17 year old girl.
He says that he loves lots of people but doesn't care if they love him or not as long as they're honest.
He says, "If I am captured, this blog will continue. I have pre-written enough material to keep this blog alive for at least a year. In addition, the administrator, Chad, will continue to monitor comments. He will administer the reward and post any information received. In truth my continued involvement from this point is irrelevant."
Some would say that they feel the same way about his involvement up to this point, too.
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Anyway, at the moment, each police force is overseen by a committee of 17 people, drawn from the local community, social services and so on. They debate policy and standards and the odd number means that there's never a hung vote.
The government, in the interests of maintaining the integrity of the police and the non-interference of political parties, are replacing this committee of 17 good people with a committee of... 1.
One police commissioner will have the power to hire and fire Chief Constables, amongst other important things.
Now, to keep it all fair and above board, anyone can stand for election as a commissioner. Anyone with £5,000 to spend on the deposit, that is.
But oh, hang on, what's this? If you're a serving MP, as in a Member of Parliament, as in a serving party political politician, you only have to pay £500. Which you don't really have to pay, your party pays it for you.
OK, so a politician pays £500 and an ordinary pillar of the local community pays £5,000.
On top of that, the government has levelled the playing field by limiting how much the candidates can spend on advertising. £100,000.
That's quite a lot of money for an independent candidate to spend on advertising, isn't it?
But a drop in the ocean for a main political party.
I say we vote to get rid of democracy. It's all a con anyway.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Friday, 2 November 2012
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Why does it seem so long since the last series?
Well, obviously because they had to allow enough time for a new bunch of feckless square-eyed hopefuls to become famous enough to qualify as celebrities. Because let's face it, if your career wasn't in the toilet, why would you bother?
Honestly, with her looks, talent and intellect, her breath should really be the least of her worries...