Tuesday, 30 November 2010

I'm a celebrity... get my clothes out of here

Dom thinks that Kayla is probably very high maintenance in real life. We think she's so high maintenance, she would need a room service every thousand miles.

Kayla and Jenny had to do a soft porn chest challenge, we think that the producers had promised the crew that if Kayla made it to the last 7, they'd put on a swimsuit trial for them.

Jenny and Kayla were so pleased with themselves that they wanted the rest of the gang to wait for them to get cleaned up before answering the questions. Tempers were frayed, and Dom was getting quite short with Kayla. Completely understandable, even we're yelling at her.

Apparently, she asked Jenny what she uses mayonnaise for at home. Well, in the jungle, I put it on cheeseburgers. At home? I use it to oil the door hinges. In the words of the polylexicologist, quizmaster and TV appearer Stephen Fry, "fatuous bint". Although he was talking about Ferne Cotton at the time. But if he's watching this televisual feast of intellectual compost, we think he would say it about Kayla too. Not that we want to put words in his mouth.

They were over the moon to win some cooking spices. But hang on, they've been cooking with spices since the start, thanks to Gillian's knickers! Did the spices in the chest smell familiar?

Kayla has taken over as camp squealer, running up to Linford to cry that she had a leech on her. I guess the camp isn't big enough for two leeches.

At least the stress will mean she needs another massage from Linnie. Not that he enjoys it. Purely medicinal. That must be why he cried when he saw the picture of his daughter - he remembered that his family could see him!

Nice to hear about Shaun's childhood. When he said he'd 'screwed them all' before he was 12, we thought he was talking about Girls Aloud. Turns out he meant Schweppes and Bulmers.

It's still raining in camp. Isn't Australia great!

Aggro has let his hair down at last. We think he's paying tribute to Alison. Now he's Affro Santos. What the hell does he look like? We think he's hoping to scare the bugs away in the next challenge.

So who's out? Kayla... it's not you. Aggro... not you. Linford... might be you....

It's Linford.

And now.... six remain. Who is our money on?

Shaun, Stacey or Jenny,

What we can't figure out is... who on earth is voting for Aggro or Kayla?

If it's you, stop it. It's not clever.

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