Thursday, 9 December 2010

Apprentice shock - Liz is Hired!!

Although that is cockney rhyming slang for fired, unfortunately.

Big surprise, though.

Stuart showed that he will really scrape the bottom of his moral barrel to make a quick bit of cash. You'd think that Lord Paint the Town (Paint the Town = Brown = Brown Sugar = Sugar, it's rhyming slaiing innit?) would frown on such low tactics, but we think he came over a bit dewey eyed as Stuart got him reminiscing on his own happy childhood, pushing a wheelbarrow full of computers round the mean streets of East London, the city where, according to Jamie the tour guide, the Thames is the second largest river.

Stella pushed for the Cockney Tour but then didn't actually know where anything was, and lost the jellied eels stall. Mind you, Tubby of Tubbys jellied eels looked distinctly bemused when Liz and Stuart asked him to do a gor blimey Mary Poppins impression for the benefit of the tourists. We think he was probably French and it was all way over his head.

However, even though Chris gave away 20% of all profits, he made a smart move because he knew that more tickets were going to be sold through the ticket shop than anywhere else. On top of that, their blue uniforms did make them look like bus conductors, whereas the other team's red uniforms made them look like children's entertainers.

Regardless of who lost, every single one of them made major tactical errors:

Jamie - acted like a spoilt brat and would not listen to Joanne, risking tourists asking for refunds because he didn't actually know anything about the tour.

Chris - failed to find out what the shop's standard commission is and consequently gave the ticket shop 20% of all revenue, not just shop sales.

Joanne - went back to the ticket shop to try and wriggle out of Chris' deal, risking upsetting the manager and making them pull out. Also did an appalling job of managing Jamie.

Stuart - failed to find out the market rate for tickets, set a price so high that the shop knew they wouldn't earn any commission anyway and then just cut prices to make up for it, and resorted to some very sleazy sales tactics. Don't buy anything from this boy.

Stella - ducked out of the hard part of the task but didn't even do her cop-out tour guide Barbie job properly.

Liz - failed to find out the market rate for tickets. Did a smashing sales job as usual, but that doesn't make her an Apprentice.

We were quite surprised by Al's positive comment about Chris' negotiation tactic, which wasn't actually a negotiation tactic at all. He offered a wildly attractive deal and the shop bit his hand off. However, we think that his Lordship saw a spark of genius that could make Chris a serious contender.

We're disappointed that Stuart pulled on Alan's heart strings and is still in the game, because he annoys us immensely. If you see him in the street, give him a smack in the chops from us.

Who would we employ? Chris or Stella.

Chris is solid, direct and mature. He keeps on listening and takes feedback on board.

Stella is shrewd, intelligent and cool. She takes feedback and works hard.

All good qualities.

As for you? You've been merged and acquired.

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