Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Ex-factor

Poor old Mary Byrne was in tears singing her little heart out in the sing-off, meanwhile Cher Lloyd won't change her singing style for anyone, because she is who she is and people should accept her and she is a unique artist in her own right she's not going to change for anyone and she's special and.... oh, it turns out she can totally change her style if there's a sing-off involved.

And despite Mary's empassioned performance and Cher's pathetic, weak, off-key warbling, the panel of judges voted to boot Mary out on her considerable arse.

Hewey, Dewey and Louie told Mary that she's never going back to her job at Tesco. No way. Not after her fabulous performances, her new found confidence and her taste of the high life. There's no place for Mary on the checkouts. It's the cosmetics counter in Boots for her.

Let's face it, she ain't going to sell the kind of records that Simon Cowell wants to sell, so they've been looking for a way to get her out while not looking like they're biased.

They have mostly achieved this by telling every contestant that they're the best, they'll definitely be in the final, it will be a travesty if they're not, it's their best performance ever, it's the best performance they have ever seen in their entire lives, oh everyone is so so marvellous. How lovely.

They should have Jim Bowen as a judge next year. Great. Smashing. Super.

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