Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Stacey crowned queen of the jungle 2010!!!!!!!!!!


Hooray. What an anti-climax.

But remember, it's not the winning that matters, it's how entertaining you are along the way. Let's review.

Aggro Not very entertaining. Some people have called him a wimp for escaping from his underground trial. It was pitch black in there, though, so don't be hard on the boy.
Alison Entertaining solely for provoking Shaun.
Britt Not at all entertaining.
Dom Immensely entertaining, thanks to his relentless goading of the other contestants, especially Kayla.
Gillian Most entertaining at first, but we quickly tired of her. We hope not to see her whinging pathetic face on our screen again.
Jenny Immensely entertaining, not because of her stoic attitude to the challenges and her overall good humour but because of her luvvie fit when asked to do what she does for a living. She retired to bed and whined about not being funny. She might as well have cried, "Get my agent on the phone".
Kayla Not at all entertaining, apart from when she was having a paddy and burned her letter. We're sure that she only lasted as long as she did because she was entertaining to a certain segment of society i.e. prison inmates.
Lembit Indirectly entertaining, but only for the exasperation that he caused the other inmates. We mean contestants.
Linford Not at all entertaining, and we do wish he would put the female contestants down for five minutes lest he give ex Olympic athletes a bad name.
Nigel Very entertaining indeed. At first we thought he proved himself to be a good chap, but he actually turned into a bit of a dirty old man and all round luvvie. What a shame they didn't want him in the final line-up. We liked him standing his ground over the electric shocks, but we didn't like him giving in to the producers and returning. We think the others should have walked out in support.We wished some of them had anyway!
Shaun The most entertaining of all. What can we say that hasn't already been said? We enjoyed every minute of Shauns f*&%$£3g stay in the b@$&?#d jungle. What a smashing t#$t. We'd love to have him round for afternoon tea.
Sheryl Not very entertaining, and not a celebrity in any sense of the word that we are familiar with. We saw a celebrity once. Does that qualify us for next year's show?
Stacey The second most entertaining celeb, but not for her bravery or buoyant humour. We found Stacey interesting because she totally contradicted the airhead image that the X Factor producers bestowed upon her and tackled some heavy intellectual arguments around the camp fire, more than holding her own against the likes of Lembit, Linford and Dom, the three alpha male silverbacks of the camp. Ugh! Lembit make fire! Linford gather wood! Dom make jokes!

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