Saturday, 29 January 2011

Hell's Kit-ching!

Gordon Ramsay's £8.5 Million contract with Channel 4 runs out this year.

According to the Guardian, he is paid:

$15m (£9.4m) a year for his work in the US

£20,000 for each of his hour-long Channel 4 programs

So what's next for Gordon? Apparently a possible travel show. Gordon Ramsay's Holiday Nightmares? Hell's Holiday? Gordon yelling at the airline stewardess about the contents of his breakfast snack box?

He could take over as the commentator for Come Dine With Me, he could actually be quite funny, although he might focus too much on the food, which is only part of the program's appeal.

Let's also not forget that he got doused in icy water for a gin advert. He could advertise rotten tomatoes too, that would be good.

He could take over from Jeremy Kyle on his holidays and say all the words that Jeremy is too shy to say, when he says, "You useless piece of whatever". We think that Gordon could find the appropriate words.

Overall, we still think that "I'm Gordon Ramsay, get this celebrity out of me" is his best bet to keep his face on the box.

Friday, 21 January 2011

I'll order a number two... with noodles

We get a lot of takeaway menus through the front door, and this one in particular caught our eye.

It just doesn't seem very appetising, and we can't quite put our finger on why.

Any ideas?

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Hell's Kitchen... On Ice!!

Gordon is back with a new gang of 16 raw recruits, whittled down from 10,000 applicants. We think the researchers definitely went on aggravation factor, not culinary ability. Gordon was physically sick after trying one contestants Gumbo. It did look like a bowl of sick, though. And one gobby young lady (Sabrina) is sure to provide hours of fun, so she'll be in it until the end, regardless of whether she can cook or not. She served her dish up even though the others in the order weren't ready, thereby deliberately sabotaging her colleagues. She already had a run-in with Gordon for losing interest during the initial tasting session.

Raj was showing his colleagues his kung fu moves, while being incapable of doing anything in the kitchen, while some other speccy git (Trev) had 4 goes at putting some lettuce on a plate. For a start, 4 goes at putting lettuce on a plate is a disgrace, however Gordon's showing himself up, putting lettuce on a plate on the menu at his posh restaurant.

Meanwhile, on Come Dine With Me, one of the 3 female contestants said of the poor outnumbered man, "He's definitely playing a game here, he's trying to win". It's a bloody game show you daft tart!!

It's like Jim Bowen saying, "Hey! Don't throw those darts, you might damage the dartboard! Smashing! Super!"

She had previously had 4, or was it 5, goes at making meringues. First were underdone, second were overdone, third were perfect but she spilt dauphinoise potatoes on them, fourth were burnt black. She kept calling her patient husband and asking him to bring her more eggs, more castor sugar, and in the end just pulled the ones with potato on out of the bin! She should open a restaurant with the guy who can't put lettuce on a plate!

Some time ago, we predicted that an Australian version was coming, entitled Come Dine Under With Me. Well, lo and behold, such a beast has been unleashed on our screens, entitled Come Dine With Me Down Under. We think our title was better. Theirs sounds like some depraved act that we don't want to think about.

In the first episode, a woman got utterly drunk and licked the male host's chest. He carried on unbuttoning his shirt even after she had finished. Next night, he got utterly drunk and when the woman revealed she was married with two children, he said that he couldn't believe she was such a slut! Excellent.

And in the second episode, one contestant cooked.... barbie!

The truth is indeed stranger than fiction.