Friday, 4 February 2011


We watched Service for the first time. It's a peculiar concept. In the Apprentice, the winner gets a job at Amstrad (or is that the loser?), in Hell's Kitchen, the winner gets to be head chef at a posh restaurant (unless their work visa is declined) but in Service, the winner gets a scholarship to learn to be a waitress.


Yes, it's a dream come true for the lucky winner, and this week's challenge was to be a waitress at a private dining thing. They got to wait on Gok Kwan (has been), Sophie Ellis-Bextor (never was) and Diarmuid somebody, the red faced gardener who liked putting up scaffolding and steel girders in people's back gardens in Home Front. If you want your back garden to look like a cross between a scrapyard and a lap dancing bar, he is still running his own garden design company.

Our three celebrity ponces had a list of likes and don't likes and said that they simply won't tolerate bad service and if they aren't happy they'll have a paddy. A great big paddy, right there at the dinner table, and they don't care who sees them.

Personally, I think it's worth entering the competition just to be able to 'accidentally' tip a bowl of thai green curry down Gok Kwan's haute couture. And on his posh clothes too.

But hey, when you're an up and coming teenage waitress just waiting to be noticed by a talent spotter from a top notch branch of Pizza Hut,this has to be a high point in your career.

Some bloke who owned a posh restuarant told the hopefuls that in private dining, whatever the client wants, the client gets.

Yeah right. He'll get a bowl of soup on his head if he comes here with that attitude.

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