Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Osama Bin Laden - Rest In Pieces

So the world police have finally tracked down their public enemy number one and sent him to meet his maker.

Oh dear.

First, President Osama, we mean Obama, said that the heroic Navy Seals had killed him in a fierce gunfight. It's amazing what they can teach animals to do.

Then, a few days later it transpired that there wasn't a gun fight. Unless you count the Americans firing their guns in the air, dancing on the spot and shouting 'Yee-Haa!'

According to their news releases, it wasn't actually a gunfight, but he did make some threatening gestures. And try to run away.

Finally, they released some videos of him practising to make his evil videos of terror. He was saying, "Hey, Abdul, how do I look? Is my beard clean? Does my bum look big in this?"

Apparently, the Americans want to portray Mr Bin Laden, not as the evil, powerful leader of a global empire of anti-democratic terror and destruction, but as a feeble old man who had to dye his beard black before going on camera.

David Cameron delivered a very carefully worded statement to the press, which we could paraphrase as, "We had nothing to do with it!"

And they won't release a picture of him to prove he's dead because it might be disturbing. No, here's what's disturbing - the Americans releasing pictures of what the nasty Iraqis did to their people, or what the nasty Taliban did, or what the nasty... erm... some other foreigners. Evil dictators who must be deposed.

The word you're looking for is PROPAGANDA.

So, what the Yanks are actually saying is that they broke into a harmless old man's house in someone else's country and shot him in cold blood because he stuck his fingers up at them.

A picture of a dead old man is really not that impressive. It makes the Americans look like bullying, unilateral dictators who think that the world deserves their very special form of democracy, where only 25% of the country vote for someone who then takes them, and half the world, to war and then thanks us by destroying the world banking system and screwing up all of our credit ratings. Thanks a  f*%$@#g bunch, you idiots.

God Save America. No really, please. They need saving, God help them.

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