Wednesday, 22 June 2011

She's a Bulldozer... And He Likes It

"Do the French like their children?"

Mais Oui! With garlic butter!

Susan's off again...

"Do a lot of people drive in France?"

Not really, they mostly ride biciclettes with strings of garlic round their necks.

A teapot on a piece of string for €140? Did someone just leave the teabag in? No, it's a light.

Leon is very impressed by Melody's linguistic skills, "It's really impressive how you can speak to people and, like, understand them when they speak back"

Yes Leon, not bad for a girl who talks so much.

How about a pipe cleaner to wrap round your phone?

Jim tries his hand at a sales pitch to a shop, "Can you sell this kind of small petit item?"

"No I cannot sell this"

The shop owner shrugs in that way that only the French can.

Sold! 50 teapots on string!

Who would have thought it?

If they'd been fairy lights in the shape of garlic, they'd have bought them by the thousand.

Melody is surprised too, "I wasn't sure about the teapot but I think there's really a market for it in France"

Yes... Paris flea market on a Sunday morning.

Leon begs for a go at selling. "Can I have a go? Pleeeease?"

Melody looks kindly on the young lad, "Technically i could have been selling both products all along but I didn't to give you a chance"

Oh, thanks Melody, you're an angel.

And we're back in the boardroom. Is the task over already? Yes, selling illuminated teapots to the French is not gripping TV.

Was Susan a good PM?

Jim answers first, "She made a bold move to lead from the front"

Eh? Jim's up to his usual tricks.

Melody didn't like the car seat rucksack. She did not get it from the start. Really, some people just aren't child-minded, and they can't really understand any product for families. Why do children need car seats anyway? Don't they fit in the glovebox?

Melody did some thorough market research which revealed that people in Paris don't drive, they take the Metro. And where did they she conduct this research?

Yes. In the Metro station.

Although the feedback from the public was that they loved the car seat rucksack and hated the teapot. Still, what do they know? They're only the public. Melody is the CEO of a global consultancy. Market research overruled!

Sales to small retailers:

Team     Sales
Logic      €11705
Venture €14699

Sales to big retailers:

Venture €214000
Logic     €0

Oops. Not such a close call this week.

Tom was right, the rucksack was the best product. He allowed Melody to push him into selling the wrong products. He's the inventor, he's made and sold products, he should have stuck to his guns. His logic was sound though, if the team don't want to sell a product, they won't sell it, so he may as well give them what they want to sell.

WRONG!

They want to win the bloody task, Tom. You give them the product and whatever it is, they don't want to lose the task. Tom thought that the team's buy-in was more important, forgetting that as PM, he held the decision that they could either like or lump, but either way, no-one wanted to lose, least of all Melody.

Based on that alone, Tom needs to go. He failed to control Melody.

Melody defends herself by saying that it was her job to do market research. Well, yes, but she tried to bias it to what she wanted, and then she ignored the feedback anyway.

Tom asked her to research the retailer and she didn't because she wanted to be right and hijack the task. Even Nick sprung to Tom's defence there, a rare event. He doesn't seem to like Melody much.

Melody got the appointments and wanted to do all the pitches. Greedy

"I let leon in on the sales, he asked me and I said yes."

How kind.

"The business that I'm proposing to yourself is a very profit driven business."

Are there any other kind of businesses?

Leon is very quiet. "Je non parlais Francais, Monsieur Sucre."

Alan says that he used to negotiate with the Koreans for his first products. That would explain everything, He thought he was miming "best quality" when the Koreans thought he said, "give me the tat that the French won't touch with a bargepole."

Tom, normally reserved, has a rare moment of grandeur.

"I believe that I have the potential to be far greater than Dyson and other Britsh inventors"

What ground breaking products has Tom created? A curved nail file. And a baby bottle.

Melody stays, courtesy of being a bulldozer.

Leon, You're fired.

He doesn't need Melody to translate THAT for him.

Alan makes a final comment on Melody. "She is ruthless. She'll walk all over and tread all over anyone to get what she wants.

That's what I like about her."

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