Sunday, 11 December 2011

Little Mix Win X Factor 2011!

But the final isn't for another 4 or 5 hours, how could we know that?

Well, come on. Everyone knows the whole thing is fixed. Why don't ITV just admit it?

You see, we've had male singers win for the last 2 years, Matt Vegas last year and Lil' Joooor McElderry the year before. So when Marcus wins this year as he rightly should, Simon Bowell has a problem, because he has three male singers vying for attention in the pop charts. And since there aren't many girl groups around at the moment, it makes much more sense for Little Mix to win, even though they shouldn't really have made it past the auditions. Whoa - hang on - even though they DIDN'T make it through auditions because they weren't good enough as individual singers. But sling them together as a group and now that they can drown each other out, we can shove them through to the final and no-one will notice.

Remember, Little Mix DID NOT ENTER THE COMPETITION. As individuals, they DID NOT GET THROUGH THE AUDITIONS. Neither did The Risk. And Amelia Lilly was VOTED OUT.

Also, The Risk lost a member. So they should have been out because they weren't the same group any more. But no, let's give them another singer because they didn't get through the auditions and it's a con anyway, so the fact that people are still voting means they're gullible.

Maybe based on that, we can expect Kitty Brucknell to win.

But how do ITV rig the contest?

Firstly, let's face it, ITV do have previous for vote rigging. Such as taking viewers' money after the lines had closed. Or giving the 2008 People's Choice award to Ant & Dec, even though the viewers had actually voted, fair and square, for Catherine Tate.

Secondly, the judges repeat, over and over, that a girl band has never come this far in X Factor and everyone should vote for them to win. If advertisers did that, the ASA would have a thing or two to say.

Thirdly, they'll just do what they did last year. And the year before. The final performance will be both finallists singing what will be the X Factor single. And the style and key of the song will be perfectly suited for the winner's voice, and will make the loser sound like they're strangling a cat.

So tonight, we're expecting to see Marcus running around like Mrs Doubtfire to sing all four parts of the song.

Finally, remember that the semi final was between Marcus, a girl who was voted out a few weeks ago and four girls who didn't even get through the first auditions.

But don't fret, because the other thing that we can say from previous years is that winning X Factor is actually a career deathwish anyway. The runners-up are always more successful.

So based on that, we're voting for Marcus to lose tonight, because of all of them, he's the one we'd actually pay money to see.

Bad luck Marcus!!

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