Tuesday, 20 December 2011

We Have No Reason to Believe That Piers Morgan is a Lying Slippery Git

Piers Morgan finally had his moment in the spotlight at the Leveson enquiry, in which he was asked via video link to his new home the good ol' U S of A, who are the only people who think that he's cool, if phone hacking had gone on at the Daily Mirror while he was the editor. Of course not. Who would think such a thing? The Daily Mirror? A paragon of journalistic virtue? Ridiculous.

Now, you can read what he said anywhere. Just Google 'slippery former editor lies through teeth to government enquiry' and we're sure something will turn up. Of course, that would be a purely random search phrase, not one intended to turn up news stories about Piers Morgan. After all, we are not aware of anything that Piers Morgan has done to mark himself out as a slippery lying git. He said so himself to the enquiry, under oath, so it must be true.

Note how he used phrases such as "I had no reason to believe..." or "I was not aware..." or "I was not aware that it was widely prevalent in any specific form" or even "I was never directly involved"

Apparently, an editor is aware of maybe 5% of what happens at a newspaper. So by sheer coincidence, all the illegal stuff was squarely in the hidden 95%. Fancy that. In the ten years that he edited the Daily Mirror, nothing illegal ever crept into that 5%. Despite the fact that he wrote in his own diary in 2001 that someone had told him about phone hacking. But he never for a moment imagined that his own angelic reporters would be doing it. Or that they would be paying private investigators. Or the police. Ah well, perhaps he's a better interviewer than he was an editor? Erm... no. Refer to our previous post about his interview with David Hasslehoff.

But hang on, what about the telephone message from Sir Paul McCartney on Heather Mills' phone that he listened to? Where did that come from? Who played it to him? How did they get it?

Apparently, he can't reveal his sources.

Eh?

Isn't that precisely what the Leveson enquiry is all about?

The QC threatened to ring up Heather Mills and ask if she played Piers the recording, because if she didn't, it was clearly obtained illegally.

Piers replied that there's nothing unethical about listening in on a private conversation. If it was that private, they shouldn't be having it. Translation: Call her then. See if I care.

Now remember, Piers left the Daily Mirror because of a scandal involving a front page photo of a British soldier torturing an Iraqi prisoner. Except it wasn't a British soldier. And the photo wasn't taken in Iraq. And the man being tortured wasn't an Iraqi. It all happened in the Daily Mirror's car park. Now, it may be true that an editor only knows 5% of what happens at the newspaper. Wouldn't you think that the front page story would be part of that 5%??

Piers told Lord Justice Leveson that "he was concerned that the hearing was not focusing on the good papers had done over the years". Yes, we were unreliable, lying, cheating scumbags, but millions of people enjoyed the cartoons. When will we get some recognition for that? And the horoscope! How many people's lives have been changed by Mystic Meg?!

Remember though the most important role that newspapers play in our day to day lives. They keep our chips warm.

Brilliant, isn't it? Called before an enquiry to ascertain how newspaper journalists acquired private information, he sticks two fingers right up at them. Or one finger, since he's now hiding across the Atlantic.

All being well he'll stay there.

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