Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Don't Get These Two Mixed Up...

Gary Glitter is back in the news after launching himself into cyberspace with a Twitter account so that he can tell all his many followers (such as the police and angry parents) what he's up to these days. Of course, he was just kidding around. Again. It was in fact a hoax, or as the author "Ben" described it, a "social experiment". Like if you took Ben's keyboard and inserted it sideways up his backside, that would be a "human machine interface experiment".

However, we couldn't help but notice a very worrying similarity between Paul Michael Gadd and another pop icon, Nik Kershaw. So this isn't our usual mockery but instead a valuable warning to any passport officials on the look out for a shifty balding man with a grey beard and "pop star" as the occupation on his passport.

We reckon that Glitter's plan is to try to sneak back into the country under the pseudonym N.Kershaw at one of the many 80s revival music festivals. He'll sneak in the back way, come on stage with a guitar, sing "I won't let your son go down on me" and then slip out quietly while everyone's waiting for an encore, stopping briefly at the creche to see if there are any lost children that need collecting.

 So please, if you happen to work at passport control, be vigilant.


Sunday, 8 January 2012

Cameron on the Ball

Well, in a bid to placate angry voters still reeling from the outrageous salaries and bonuses awarded to the very CEOs that got us into this mess, David Cameron has announced that he's going to make shareholders responsible for voting on CEO's pay.

Brilliant.

So in a bid to wrestle control from the grip of greedy corporations, he has put it into the hands of... greedy corporations.

Who are the shareholders in these companies? Is it people like you and me who go along to the AGMs with our sandwiches and flasks?

No.

The votes will be controlled by the institutional shareholders; fund managers, investment banks etc.

One of the big problems with the way our economy works is that corporate strategy isn't driven by customers or the environment. It's driven by institutional shareholders who want to make a quick profit on their shares. And the problem with that is that they get to call the shots with the CEOs. So now they're going to control CEOs' pay. Hmm... will that make the problem better or worse, do you think?

Ah well, we all knew when we voted Conservative that they will always favour the needs of the market economy. Can't say we weren't warned.