Thursday, 29 May 2014

The Smurfs Live on BGT!!!

It would appear that the stars who entertain us while ITV's technicians are rigging votes on Britain's Got Talent wouldn't even get through to the semi-finals themselves.

Tonight's wailing weirdos were Will.I.Am and Rappa Smurf, it would appear...


Honestly, what the hell is the world coming to?

Thankfully, because the two megastars are American, they didn't notice Dec taking the piss when he wished them a happy birthday, after singing their shit single, sorry, hit single, It's My Birthday. And when I say singing, of course I mean moving their mouths approximately in time to the music. Rappa Smurf was singing just like John Redwood singing the Welsh national anthem when he was the Minister for Wales. Seriously. Look it up on YouTube.

As Papa Smurf himself would say, LOL.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Do not drink nail varnish remover

According to the experts at Superdrug, nail varnish remover is similar to drink...


Still, it's great news that the Travel Bottle is ideal for travelling. Bloody marvellous.

Monday, 19 May 2014

Serving suggestion?

McDonalds are thrilling us with their Great Tastes of America special edition burgers.

Note that's not collector's edition. You shouldn't be keeping these things under your bed.

So I was tempted by the Texas BBQ, this week's special:


Well, can you imagine how I felt when this is what emerged from the cardboard box:



And the taste?

Pretty much how it looks...

Monday, 5 May 2014

Do Not Use The Toilet

Here's a useful sign from a hotel toilet.

Presumably they want me to poo in the sink, then?